The Hospitable One

My niece Emma is persistent and intractable in her graciousness. She demonstrates extraordinary care for her work, her people, and the people who walk into her Chicago dining establishment. Her husband Chris is much the same. He is an actor and model.  He too has a heart for service and kindness. Like many actors, he works in the restaurant industry in off seasons.

The two of them take pride in the heart of their mission. It touches all aspects of their friendships and family lives. It’s who they are. They are welcoming and naturally put people at ease. Their presence creates an atmosphere of psychological safety.  Their instincts are impeccable, beyond all measure.

Em knows I love her stories. One Christmas Eve, she told me a story of meeting this older gentleman who arrived late one evening with a small party. Upon greeting her he asked if there were any seating areas available on the roof deck where she was working concierge. He did not have a reservation. He was asked to wait for one occupied seating area to clear out. While waiting, he and Emma chatted it up for about 30 minutes.

“Uncle Kevin, I felt kind of bad for him. He looked exhausted, old, and kind of burnt. He had one older guy with him that just looked terrible. But he was warm and courteous. He did not seem to be in a hurry and was happy to connect and converse. I liked his soft-spoken British accent.  He and his party waited patiently. We talked about the weather, the music that was playing on the deck, and the Chicago skyline. I asked him his name and he said, ‘Hi, I’m Mick.,’ and we shook hands. ‘Great to meet you Emma.’”

“The table opened and I escorted Mick and his party. He gave me some folded currency which I naturally accepted and put into my skirt pocket. One of my wait staff approached me and asked, ‘Oh my God, what were you and Mick Jagger talking about for so long?’”

“Who’s Mick Jagger?”

“You don’t know who Mick Jagger is?”

“Oh, you mean the guy from the song, ‘Moves like Jagger’ by Maroon Five- Adam Levine?”

“Yeh… he’s in that song but he is the lead singer of the Rolling Stones.”

“Uncle Kevin, I really didn’t know who he was. I looked him up online the next morning.”

Emma routinely and innocently comes across celebrities. Fortunately for them she has celebrity blindness, or perhaps, demographic indifference. Mick Jagger for her was just a kind, thoughtful, and tired man.  On one summer night, he simply needed to sit down with his friends in the breezy Chicago air. He wanted to do that in peace. She was going to make that happen; and she did.

Emma grants the same innocence, curiosity and attention to all employees in her charge.  Her soul seems to insist that all are deserving and in need of intentional hospitality, respect, and dignity.  Her graciousness is demographically blind and distributed to all.  She deliberately exercises what I believe is the foundational human vocation:

Care.

Some will never recognize that genuine care and service is happening before their eyes. Some do. Some value it. In the restaurant industry, a simple human gesture is so embraced, that one can’t help but give you a wad of cash. The extra tip is to celebrate a brief authentic exchange. A long conversation of appreciation is had in a brief monetary transaction; a transaction that doesn’t quite cover it but tries.

The punchline for me is that Emma and Chris recently announced that they are going to have their first child.  I imagine the astonishing hospitality this new little one will receive and then give over a lifetime.  It will be beyond all measure.